30 days of Praying for you and your husband! Day 17

Day 17

Pray for Unselfishness

Dear Woman,
Marriage is place where two selfish people are bound together to become unselfish. Without unselfishness it’s impossible to make the marriage work.
If one of them is still selfish that person is living on the sacrifices of the other and is drinking all the happiness from the other person for own selfish motives. Such selfish people will exhibit behavior such as taking spouses feelings very light, belittling spouses problems and always talk about one or two good things they did and claim that they are treating the other person well. When confronted a selfish spouse will say “Aren’t these enough for you? What more should I do?”, but the truth is that the spouse who is suffering is not asking for more but asking for the right actions that will quench the expectations or solve some problems. What do we say when we are confronted? Do we say, “I’ll listen carefully to understand my spouse’s needs better. I may be missing something. I’ll do it even if it means I need to work hard”.  One thing is sure the time and efforts that we are saving being selfish is definitely not better than building the relationship using unselfishness.

There are two important things about being unselfish,
– to genuinely become unselfish and
– not to become a doormat

Let’s pray!

For You

  • Lord! I pray that I consider my husband’s expectations as a priority without exhausting me. May I understand his expectations with love and patience without any existing assumptions I have. May I set feasible ‘love goals’ to please my husband and take it one step at a time.
    (Philippians 2:3, II Corinthians 8:5)
  • Lord! I pray that I will give my time, effort and patience cheerfully. May I do everything without grumbling or complaining. Lord! I understand that I nullify all my efforts when I grumble.
    (2 Corinthians 9:6,7, Philippians 2:14,15)
  • Lord! Teach me to come to you for wisdom and guidance when my unselfishness is not recognized. May I not give up in doing good. Lord! I take your comfort and refreshment that you bring upon me as I continue to refresh my husband.
    (Proverbs 11:25, Galatians 6:9)
  • Lord! Comfort me and heal me when I hear complaints even when I had sacrificed so much for the family. May I trust in you and not consider the worldly recognitions. Help me to take valid complaints and ignore the false accusations.
    (Proverbs 12:15,16)
  • Lord! Teach me to do my best and not to exhaust me when I’ve been put under way too much pressure that comes from very high expectations and lack of sharing the responsibilities. May I discern the difference between high expectations and abuse. Lord! when my unselfish nature invites victimization help me to politely speak up about it!
    (Psalm 41:2,Psalm 140:4)

For your Husband

  • Lord! I pray that my husband understands the freedom and power of unselfishness and reflect the nature of Christ in sacrificing His own life
    for the Church. I pray that he understands the Biblical standards and expectation from a husband in terms of marriage.
    (2 Corinthians 8:5, Ephesians 5:25)
  • Lord! I pray that my husband overcomes the stigma of male chauvinism by being bold and courageous. Strengthen him to take a stand against the
    against the injustice towards women and cultural bias in favor of men. I pray that he becomes courageous and wise in this and does advocacy for
    me when I deserve justice.
    (Psalm 82:3)
  • Lord! I pray that my husband understands his role as a servant leader being the head of the family. I pray that he sets an example in being unselfish in humbling himself and serving others without grumbling or complaining.
    (Colossians 1:18, Matthew 20:28)
  • Lord! I pray that he stops doing selfish acts for the sake of satisfying his ego. I pray that my husband opens his eyes to see that ‘EGO’ is a fake crown that will neither be recognized nor rewarded and that crown is just a burden that pulls a man from doing his best for God. May he find his identity and crown from what you say about him and not from ego.
    (Proverbs 15:25, Philippians 2:3)
  • Lord! Guide and guard my husband in doing what is best for the family in achieving the common good and not to do things with selfish motives such as,
    to make him look like he spends a lot for the family or to make him look like he is the only person who works hard for the family or to impress extended family members or to prove that he is the boss in the family or to avoid the nagging and accusations of the extended family.
    (Philippians 2:3, Luke 6:35)

Amen!

Today’s Promise: 

Let us not grow weary in well-doing, for in due time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Galatians 6:9

Today’s Command:

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her. Ephesians 5:25
Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves. Philippians 2:3

30 days of Praying for you and your husband! Day 16

Day 16

Pray for Inner Healing

Inner healing is something so important for married couples to identify the root causes of certain issues or behavior or even expectations.
A man who grew up watching his angry, dominating and impatient mother will either be a timid person who takes sides with the dominating person(parents/wife) and oppresses the weaker person(parents/wife) or have extreme expectations from his wife that the wife should be utterly patient even when she is wronged and tolerate every unwise decision he makes, he accuses her all the time putting huge pressure on her to be impractically perfect but he will never try to see his flaws.

Similarly a woman who was not loved by her own mother due to gender discrimination will expect a compensatory form of love from the mother-in-law
and get disappointed and broken when stuck with a typical mother-in-law who is trying to bring separation between husband and wife. Also man or woman who had irresponsible fathers will try to be too cautious in raising children and they will make decisions with a lot of thought and caution this may become a burden to the spouse as they may have had a good father.

The most important problem arises when the spouse pretends like he/she is fine and never shares about it. Another problem is when one spouse decided to share these painful things trusting the other spouse but all that fell into deaf ears and the spouse is unwilling to listen to the partner.

We can understand one thing everyone will need inner healing someway or the other although the levels may be different. A spouse who considers the one who needs more love and care as a burden will not receive the favor of God in any aspect of life but the spouse who understands the pain of the other person and shows kindness will be blessed by God in every way.

Let’s not forget that Jesus went through emotional wounds from the betrayal of his own friends and denial of his own people. By the Stripes of Jesus we are healed and Jesus had so many emotional stripes while he was hanging on the cross. If you are in Christ and living by His teachings you are healed emotionally!

Let’s pray!

For You

  • Lord! I accept that I need inner healing and come before your throne of grace. May I not reject to be comforted like Jacob but accept your comfort and have faith in you that you will heal me.
    (Genesis 37:35)
  • Lord! I pray that you will heal me according to your plans be it complete healing or gradual healing or healing in layers. Lord! I submit everything into your healing hands I trust you in this.
    (Luke 8:44,2 Kings 5)
  • Lord! May my past pain and the losses I faced due to others’ fault be not an excuse to stay miserable and angry. Teach me to be loving and kind to others and never be jealous about what they have that I do not have.
    (Ephesians 4:2)
  • Lord! I pray that I listen to my husband well and try to understand the areas that he needs healing. May I show my husband the love you have for him.
    May I be patient when he makes mistakes which are the consequences of the wounds that need healing.
    (Proverbs 18:13, Proverbs 18:2)
  • Lord! when my husband finds me a burden when I need healing, may I trust in you Lord. Make me a blessing even while I’m healing and not a burden. When my husband adds more pain to my existing wounds may I run to you for comfort. I know that you will understand me and bless us double fold for all the painful years that was wasted.
    (Psalm 147:3, Isaiah 40:29,31)

For your Husband

  • Lord! I pronounce inner healing on all the emotional wounds that are layered deep within my husband. My husband’s emotional wounds are healed by your stripes. We receive the healing that comes from your word.
    (Psalm 107:20,1 Peter 2:24)
  • Lord! Staying in the freedom and healing is as important as receiving the healing. I pray that my husband stays healed and stays in the freedom
    that is already purchased on the cross. We rebuke every principalities and authorities of the adversary that is stealing the freedom and healing
    that you gave us. Help us walk in victory without giving space to the adversary.
    (2 Corinthians 5:17,Isaiah 43:18)
  • Lord! Open my husband’s eyes to see the need of inner healing in the areas that he is not aware of. Teach my husband to surrender his mind and emotions to you and accept to you that he needs help from you. I pray that he understands the need to say, “Yes I need the healing”.
    (Psalm 30:2)
  • Lord! I pray that all the anger, bitterness, rage and malice that has entered into my husband’s life due to his past hurts or due to the incidents that happened in childhood be removed in the name of Jesus. I pray that we never give our past as an excuse to live a life that is without the fruit of spirit. I pray for a change of heart and a change of attitude.
    (Ephesians 4:31)
  • Lord! I pray that my husband and I together be a channel of healing to people through the comfort and healing that we witnessed in our life through you.
    Teach us to discern and understand the needs of inner healing of every hurt soul we witness.
    (2 Corinthians 1:4)

Amen!

Today’s Promise: 

Instead of your shame you will have a double portion,And instead of humiliation they will shout for joy over their portion. Therefore they will possess a double portion in their land,Everlasting joy will be theirs. Isaiah 61:7

‘But I will restore you to health and heal your wounds,’ declares the Lord. Jeremiah 30:17

Today’s Command:

Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed.James 5:16