Tag: marriage

Day 12

Pray for Love and Love languages

If you ask the husband and the wife how much they love the other, they’ll say “So much….”. But if you ask how much do you feel loved they may roll their eyes. Most of the times they think they have shown enough love but they fail to see what was actually expected.

Man’s expectation of love:
– Respect: Treating him with respect inside and outside the house
– Kindness: Right tone, Right time, Right Attitude with Right Action
– Listening: Men are actually talkative. They love talking to their wives.
But poor listening or taking the subject into a fight makes them a closed book.
– Care and Attention: Although men will pretend like they don’t like to be taken care nor give attention they will go crazy if they are not attended to.
– Trust & Expression of Trust: Saying words like “I know you would have checked this well”, “I know you mean well for the family”, “I don’t agree with you but I will surely support you, we will never know which decision will work and which will not” and avoiding statements such as “you are ruining the family”, “You are making a lot of mistakes and all the loss is because of you”.
– Physical Intimacy: For a man this is a very important area as his ego is also connected to this. When a woman creates a calm and quiet home a man’s physical intimacy with his wife will not be affected.

Woman’s expectation of love:
– Verbal Expression: The repeated verbal assurances of love will make a woman feel so confident and happy.
– Protection: Woman has an in-built void space of insecurity which has to be fulfilled by the husband by protecting her from physical dangers, abusive words, disrespectful family members and especially ill-treatment from family members. A woman expects man to diplomatically handle this, making it clear to the others that no one is allowed to abuse his wife. Also by protection she never means fight she just wants her husband to politely stop them from harming her. Fair Warning! “When a husband fails to protect his wife all his other love languages will make her feel more insecure”
– Appreciation & Recognition: Appreciating their work with genuine words and recognizing their contribution to the family plays a key role. Giving credit to someone else for the wife’s work, mentioning words like “you did nothing”,”Whatever you do is useless”, without checking properly noticing one rare failure and saying, “You have never been doing this at all. Whenever I see it is like this” these are extremely dangerous things to do or say to the wife.
– Supporting their passion: Women expect their husbands to put efforts in encouraging and helping them achieve their passion.
– Touch & Gestures: Gestures that express love like winking, staring at her face for a long time (with a smile :D), putting arms around her shoulder,
holding her hands etc. can make a woman do anything for her husband.

Let’s pray!

For you

• Lord! I pray that I respect my husband inside and outside the house. May I never say statements that will discourage him. Open my ears to listen to him even when he is saying something that I already know or when he is going off the topic.
• Lord! May I love him with all my heart not with feelings but with deliberate choice to love him. I Pray that my love be expressed well so that my husband is assured of my love.
• Lord! I pray that I forgive him as fast as I can whenever he has failed me. Lord! May I never expect the same forgiveness from him. When my husband fails to forgive me the way I forgave him help me to find joy and peace in you as I have repented and received forgiveness from you.
• Lord! May I trust my husband out of love and trust in you completely that you will turn everything for our family’s good as long as I obey you and love my husband and submit to him trusting in you.
• Lord! May I be a kind-hearted woman. May my affection and the care that I showered on the family members never go waste. I pronounce blessing over all the good seeds sown into the family! May we all reap the good fruits of harvest as a family through you!

For your husband

• Lord! I pray that my husband expresses his love through words, appreciations and warm gestures.
• Lord! I pray that my husband will not waste his money on things that I’m not looking for thinking those objects will bring me happiness. I pray that he will do little things that makes me happy and express his love.
• Lord! I pray that my husband listens to me and listens without assumptions. I pray that you open his eyes to see the love and care for this family behind every advice and concern I bring.
• Lord! I pray that my husband protects me from harmful situations and harmful people. I specially pray for discernment. My my husband put family’s common good as highest priority and not the ego that is kindled by others. May my husband draw a line of protection for me and discern about people who have intentions to bring division into the family.
• Lord! I pray that my husband understands my passion. May we have a healthy discussion on what is expected of him. May my husband help me in sharing the household responsibilities so that my passions are not sacrificed.

Amen!

Today’s Promise: 

Today’s Command:

In everything, then, do to others as you would have them do to you. Matthew 7:12

Pay everyone what you owe him: respect to whom respect is due, honor to whom honor is due. Be indebted to no one, except to one another in love. Romans 13:7,8

Pray for Finance

Day 10

Finance is not the problem for poor people. It’s a problem for every person who fails to be a good steward in terms of money and generosity. In every couple there will be one spouse who is not good at managing the money
and also ends up dominating the other while making financial decisions.
It’s funny how they know that they are weak in that area and yet hate to be helped by the spouse who is good at planning finance well. There are some rare extra ordinary couple where the husband and the wife spend lavishly.
Men like to have financial freedom so most of the time the lavish expenditure comes from Men (there are exceptions) and since the man is the head of the family he (generally) doesn’t cope well when the wife gives sound
financial advice. Even for those men who commit this responsibility to the wife
accepting the wife’s advice is something that puts them under a lot of stress.
This is because women look at money as resource and men look at money as a tool to derive freedom, status and definitely their ego. Let’s not forget that a lot of women are joining this club these days.

The old culture is for the wife to have complete control of the finances. In my opinion it’s NOT healthy for the marriage. Women who take full control of the finance end up becoming a nagging wife and the husband is put under a lot of stress and he becomes an angry man.

A nagging wife + Angry husband = Sad Family

(Better to live in a desert than with a quarrelsome and nagging wife. Proverbs 21:19, A hot-tempered man stirs up strife, but he who is slow to anger quiets contention. Proverbs 15:18 )

As men are the heads of the family and women are helpers/administrative unless the man changes his ways, the finance will remain a nightmare. Finance should be under the leadership of man and administration of women. By all means the husband should make a decision only if the wife is completely happy about it and wife should make a decision only when the husband approves.

Let’s pray!

For you

• Lord I pray that I don’t become a nagging wife who irritates the husband in terms of financial decisions. May I politely and wisely convey my suggestions without dominating my husband or looking down on him.
  (Proverbs 27:15,16)
• Lord I pray that we as a family keep track of finance really well and prioritize saving money for the future of the family. Teach us to be wise like Joseph who saved many lives during famine through prudent saving of grains.
  (Proverbs 27:18a, Proverbs 6:7,8)
• Lord make us a blessing to all the relatives especially who are in GENUINE need for money. May our hands be open to give.
  (Proverbs 3:27)
• Lord, teach me to be transparent in terms of money no matter what the consequence be. Lord help me to be wise in knowing where to invest the money. May I guide my husband accordingly. When I’m faced with situation where my husband makes hasty decisions that affect our finance, teach me to trust you.
  (Proverbs 31:16 – 18)
• Lord teach me never to compare our life style with that of others and try to fit into the worldly culture. Teach us to lead a peaceful life by staying away from entering into debts. Lord I pray that through saving, investing and
  waiting for the right time may my family overcome the temptation to get into debt. Lord! I humbly pray for a life without debt!
  (Proverbs 22:7, Romans 13:8)

For your husband

• Lord! I pray that you open my husband’s eyes to see the consequences of lavish spending. I pray that he supports me in saving the money for the future needs of the family just as the Pharaoh supported Joseph
  in saving the grains.

(Genesis 45:6,7)

• Lord! I pray that my husband will be generous in giving to God’s work and people who are in genuine need. Lord! unite us together in this. May we have the same mind when it comes to giving.

(2 Corinthians 9:6-8)

• Lord! I pray that you protect my husband from all the baits that make him spend on useless things. Keep him away from
  entering into debts for luxuries that can be replaced with simple and economic things.
  (Proverbs 15:27)
• Lord! I pray against all the ego that blinds diligent judgement and understanding of the financial decisions.
  May pleasing you and the family’s wellness be the priority while making decisions and not to prove others wrong or to do what came to mind
  in haste without consulting with the wife.
  (Proverbs 28:25,26)
• Lord! I pray that my husband never looks down on my wisdom and my experience in terms of finance. Provide favor in the eyes
  of my husband so that we can make united decisions for finance. Give my husband a heart to listen to the financial suggestions I give.
  Remove all the advice that come to my husbands ears that are outside marriage bounds.
  (Proverbs 31:11,26,27 & Proverbs 3:18)

Today’s Promise

For when you eat the fruit of your labor, blessings and prosperity will be yours; our wife will be like a fruitful vine flourishing within your house, your sons like olive shoots sitting around your table. Psalm 128:2,3

Today’s command

The plans of the diligent lead to profit as surely as haste leads to poverty. Proverbs 21:5