Category: Blog series

I’ve always wondered why forgiveness is so hard! I’ve taken even years to forgive certain people completely. But in the process I’ve learnt some beautiful lessons. While im still a beginner and failed too many times in forgiving, sometimes I feel if only I had known about forgiveness long back I could have avoided a lot of pain.

Forgiveness makes us free!

We all should realize that unforgiving affects everything about us, it steals our sleep, our joy, our kindness and it even steals our ability to make steady decisions. While the offender is still at large, continuing with the evil ways why should the victim continue to suffer? I once realized that by holding the grudge I’m not helping myself.

Unforgiving attitude is a barbed wire that we’re holding, thinking we can some day entangle the offender not realizing that it’s going to hurt us more as we are holding it for a long time.

You may think forgiving them and being kind to them is of no benefit. Not true!   Let’s say the offender is given right justice and punished severely. How does it benefit us ? Will it remove the hurt ? If the hurt is already hurting us why should we hurt us more with unforgiveness? Being kind to the offender benefits YOU  more than the offender!

Proverbs 11:17 Those who are kind benefit themselves

Are you scared of scare crows?

Have you seen little children getting scared of scare crows? Even if you tell them that the scare-crow can not do anything to them they will still be scared looking at it. Sometimes we grown chaps do that too. We know that they can do nothing to us, Our God is in control, yet we are scared. There are some people who are piercing us with their (s)words and threatening actions and we are so scared to deal with them. But the biggest problem in mankind is assuming solvable things as unsolvable problems. Just like scare-crows these silly solvable-problems can scare you away from your destiny. Are these scare crows affecting your forgiveness? Do not fear! They can not do anything against you! Forgive them today!

Romans 8:31 When God is for us who can be against us? 

Forgive now to forgive again

I know this is hard while I write this in pain. When we forgive hoping that they will change soon, we are setting ourselves up for a trap. I’m not suggesting that we get a “they will never change” attitude, ‘coz that’s judgmental. But if we set an “allowance” in advance to forgive again we shall save ourselves from a lot of pain. We should be willing to wait for them to change.

Colossians 3:13 Make allowance for each other’s faults and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you so you must forgive others.

What about the loss incurred ? Who will repay ?

Can our friends or loved ones compensate with their love? Is the offender rich enough to repay for our loss ? Can our parents give us back the lost years? Is our money powerful enough to rule everything? No. But there is someone who comes with reward and recompense. 

Isaiah 40:10 See, the Sovereign Lord comes with power and he rules with a mighty arm.See, His reward is with Him, and His recompense accompanies Him.

What is Reward? The blessing that you deserve in the eyes of God through His grace. The harvest of all the good seeds that you sowed!

What is Recompense? The blessing that is jaw dropping awesome bestowed by God upon you to repay for all the pain and loss you have faced without having done anything wrong.

 

 

 

Dear pal, 

Do we need more reasons to forgive? I know it’s not easy. Shall we have faith in the reward and recompense and forgive others? Shall we forgive so that we may be free?

One of my favorite promises is this,

A generous person will prosper; whoever refreshes others will be refreshed. Proverbs 11:25

I love giving new names to my Dada God. Well here’s one, “The Refresher God”. The above verse says everyone who is refreshing others will be refreshed, as God is their refresher. In order to get benefited let’s take a closer look at the condition “those who refresh others”. Here are few pointers to truly refresh others.

Excited yet exhausted

The moment we read this verse we get excited at the same time exhausted. How long can I keep  refreshing others? Am I a watering can? Is it wrong to expect something in return from others? It’s human nature to expect something back.

So let me give you a new perspective!

First of all, God has invested loads of time, patience, love, discipline, faithfulness, promises and fulfillment into our lives and beautified us with some good flavors of the fruit of spirit. We should understand that the Good qualities which was graciously molded into us by Potter God is much costlier than the simple things that we may receive from others. We can’t lose those precious qualities for the sake of receiving something back from others. Assume you received what you expected, what fruit of Spirit does it produce? Patience? Kindness? The qualities God has etched within you is who you are right now.

Secondly, You have come a long way! I know it’s tiring but, getting tired in doing good will make us lose our true identity and the prize we worked so hard all along. Remember the prize is always at the end of the race. If we give up now all our initial run will be in vain.

Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Galatians 6:9

What makes us tired ?

I know it’s tiring after a point of time and it becomes so difficult to be there for others. We even start looking for fishes that can meet our fishing net of “Expectations” and when no fishes get caught we get even more tired. You know what actually makes us tired? Our pride. If we are proud that we are doing more or if we keep thinking that we are doing without receiving anything back, we will soon be having less energy to do anything. Pride leaks our strength and makes us tired.

But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing. Matthew 6:3

The verse says that even our left hand should not know about what we gave(money, time, energy, etc.). If we notice well we can see that it says “let not YOUR left hand know”. This verse indirectly says that even WE should not be knowing. In other words, we should not  remind us of what we are doing. Isn’t that how pride works? To keep telling ourselves of all the good things that we do. Let’s stop letting pride drain us off!

Are we actually refreshing others?

Many a times we are immersed into the false impression that we did so much good. Our Good intentions and good deeds will be refreshing only when it’s done the right way and meets the needs of the receiver. Not understanding the receiver is like taking a vegan to KFC and buying him  Veg Nuggets that actually taste weird and gobble up few buckets of Chicken wings in front of him, piling up bones like fire woods and gust out a Dino burp. How awkward and rude!

Do to others whatever you would like them to do to you. This is the essence of all that is taught in the law and the prophets. Matthew 7:12

The above verse doesn’t say if you like chocolates  buy chocolates for others. It’s says if you expect others to understand that you like chocolates then try to understand what others like. I used to be a rude person who never cared about others’ needs but the above verse really spoke to me!

Refresh to empower not to pamper

Some swing to the other extreme and become a fluffy little bunny who pampers wrong ideals. Helping the poor materially is good but empowering them is great. Try to sponsor for the education of needy rather than serving a rich meal on your birthday. Empowering is like teaching  someone to fish instead of feeding him with fish. When we help only to feel good about ourselves we are not driven by love but self righteousness. But true love looks beyond and uplifts the needy beyond their expectations.

If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing. 1 Corinthians 13:3

Surely we will be refreshed by God at the right time as we continue to refresh others, for Our God keeps His promises! Cheer up! Go refresh someone in need!

A small prayer

Loving Jesus Christ! You refresh everyone with love without getting tired. Help us to become like you! Help us not to boast about what we do and refresh others by truly understanding them out of love. Teach us to do what is best for others and to truly refresh them. In Jesus’ name I pray! Amen!